New Life Games Tech Forums

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and 2 small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes iwth you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a loaded colt .45 and are an expert shot. Having only mere seconds before the terrorist reaches you and your family, you must decide what to do.

Democrats Answer:
Well that's not enough information to answer the question!!
Does the man look poor?
Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire this attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about my kids?
Could I possibly disarm him by swinging the gun as a club and knocking the knife away from his hands?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the gun have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what messagfe does this send to society and my children?
Is it possible that he would be happy with killing only me?
Does he definitly want to kill me, or would he be content to just wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family escape while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 911?
Why is the street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street which would discourage such behavior! This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus

Republicans Answer:

BANG!

Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
{sounds of reloading}
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Daughter: "Nice grouping daddy! Where those Winchester Silver tips or hollow points?"
Son: "Git-R-Done!!!! I call dibs on the next one!"
Wife "You are NOT mounting this one over the fireplace and that's final!"

What would be the Southern Democrats answer?  :97-

Huh?   :103-









 :72- :72- :72- :72- :72- :72-

lol...Gun not needed.
Just fast feet and a swift kick to the family jewels... :72-

He ain't got none,   he's a terrorist.   :139- :139- :139-

At least he won't have after Bunker gets through with him. :208- :208- :208-

 :voted- :voted-

Amazing...lol...I was looking at posts from 2 years ago today.
We weren't talking about terrorists but rather con1's and cat & dogs.
Stat used the word "Anthropomorphizing..."
To this day, I still think it was amazing how you actually used that word in a sentence... :96-

Brichter, you should add "All of the above" to your poll.  :71-  Now I realize that "none of the above" might make more sense, but "all of the above" better fits the spirit of this thread.

And what would the "All of the above" guy do? That's easy!

He'd reach under his coat, open the snap on the $500 holster he purchased with passive income from his stock portfolio, pull out the gun that his mother gave him on his sixth birthday, and shoot the terrorist with bullets that he bought from Walmart with his welfare check. (Remember, he has no active income, i.e., "job".)

Then he'd pull out his I-Phone and make three calls: One to the ACLU to help the widow of the terrorist he just shot sue the state for not protecting her husband's religious rights, one to FOX news to tell his story and make himself a hero for taking out the SOB, and one to a taxidermist to have the guy's head mounted on the gun rack of his pickup.   :221- :47-

... and to this day I still  don't know what it means.  :200- :72- :72- :72- :262-

you just wing him with the 45 cal and while he is taking time to stand back up .go back to the car  pull out the 50 cal browning and turn him into pink mist

 :voted- :voted- :voted- :287- :287- :287-

(http://rebelweb.net/image/rflag.jpeg)

Sh*t, one terrorist and he's only got a knife? I'd let the wife beat his a$$ and make bets with the kids about how long it would take. I wouldn't even get involved unless there were several of them and better armed!

 Dan (tacman)

 

We saw them this summer... :89- :89- :89- :89-

You forgot a few of the republican responses

1. Call for a 50% reduction in taxes for everyone making more than a million dollars a year.
2. Give Haliburtin and black water no-bid contracts to eliminate deserted streets across the country.
3. Declare war on Argentina. (since they have oil)
4. Secretly wiretap everyone in the country who owns any kind of knife.
5. Claim it wouldn't have happened if there were less regulations on wall street and the banks.
6. Blame it on:
    Obama, healthcare, democrats, gays, anyone who dosen't attend their church, or watch Fox News, and social security.
7. Call for the election of someone really stupid like Palin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgctSIL8Lhs&feature=player_embedded (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgctSIL8Lhs&feature=player_embedded)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iW5qKYfqALE&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iW5qKYfqALE&feature=related)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UZ9l_AxKjA&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UZ9l_AxKjA&feature=related)


 :208- :208-

Now, hopefully the threadjack is over and we can get back to the humor.  :97- :97-

 :3- :3- :208- :208-

And I'll bet you didn't even watch the videos...  :208- :208-

I did.   :3- :3- :3-

I was going to let this go but since you ask...

I don't watch fox news propaganda. The clip about Barney promoting home
ownership dosen't really say much except that none of the politicians thought
the bubble would burst. The real cause for the financial crisis was the total
deregulation of the financial industry. This was spearheaded by the GOP but
also supported by some democrats.

Videos can be made to show any point of view when taken out of
context or edited. At this point, I think its time to fire all the politicians
and put in new ones but add two more rules. Anyone who wants the
job is automatically prohibited from holding office. Draft them all.

The other rule would be that anyone holding public office must pass a
lie detector test every 30 days that they haven't received anything from
anyone to influence their vote. Fail once and they are out and investigated.
Making bribery a capitol offense may also help. Outlaw all campaign contributions
over $5 and make the TV stations provide free campaign ads as part of their
license requirement to "serve the public intrest".

Oh, I forgot to add.
   If you like videos on this topic, I'd like to suggest:
 "Capitalism; A Love Story"
 "Sicko"
 "Farenheit 911"

All truth, and lots of fun too  :89- :89- :89-

Since you completely hijacked the thread, which was originally  some humor about individuals, not politicians, here we go:

My comment about watching the videos was directed at David, not at you.

The videos are not about Barney Frank promoting home ownership, they are about him denying that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were in any danger of insolvency.The real cause of the credit crunch was the systematic deregulation of the loan process and qualifications, which started under the CRA, Bill Clinton's baby. I remember the days when you actually needed a down payment to buy a house, but that qualification went out the window quite a long time ago (interest-only ARMs, which were used for mortgages while the down payment loans were being paid off). There was also a time when you needed to validate your income, same demise as the down payment requirement (stated-income loans). And many politicians did think the bubble would burst. The republicans pushed for tighter regulation in 04 and 05, but they didn't have the votes to pass it.

You don't need to listen to the fox news drivel at the beginning, just listen to Frank's words. They are not edited or taken out of context, you can find the transcripts online as well and they bear the videos out.
 
To your point on Fox News: Michael Moore has made a lifetime of income pandering to the left with edits, out-of-context quotes, and blatant lies as well, and he's not the only one on the left that behaves this way. I see from your links that you're a big fan of his, I like the way you promote his work as being "all true". I haven't heard anything that funny in a long time, even his proponents recognize this.  :97-

Here's a little light reading on Fahrenheit 911: http://www.moorewatch.com/index.php/weblog/f911 (http://www.moorewatch.com/index.php/weblog/f911) 
Here's the same for Capitalism: a Love Story: http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2009/oct/01/michael-moore-movie-factcheck/ (http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2009/oct/01/michael-moore-movie-factcheck/)
and I won't even go into Bowling for Columbine.:72-
You can find more of the same all over the web, from both liberal and conservative sites. Moore is recognized as one of the most factually-challenged movie makers by folks on both sides of the aisle.

The problem is, both political parties are buried neck-deep in a substance with a really foul stench (being polite here). Just as you can pull corrupt republican's names out of a hat, you can pull democrat's names. They're all in it to screw the people.  :5-

Your line on the current set of politicians is pretty much in line with mine, though, with one additional restriction of mine: the federal government needs to only govern in matters that cannot be controlled by the states, as it was intended from the beginning. The feds spend too much time involved in local and state politics and business, and unfortunately it's not going to change. It started back in the 50s and has been going strong ever since, Obama is just furthering the cause as have his predecessors for many decades. The fed gov't is too big and collapsing under its own weight, and the way they are printing money, our economy is done, might as well stick a fork in it. We might even resort back to a collection of states as it was in the beginning, with no federal government to speak of the way things are going now.

I've been advocating media restrictions for years, but I'm a bit more militant than you on that subject: The stations also have to provide equal time for all politicians and both sides of every issue since these media moguls always see fit to try to impress their political beliefs on their viewers, even if it comes to publishing and broadcasting out-and-out lies. Did you ever notice the headlines are on page 1 and the retractions are buried in the middle of the last section, just before the Classifieds?  :103- :52-

You're right.  :96-  I was in humor mode.  :30-

NOTE: Bill, I've been typing for a while, so understand that I started this well before your last post, which I mostly agree with.


Barney Frank definitely screwed up, but I don't let the republicans off the hook. GW Bush had an overwhelming republican majority during his first term in office, and they also turned a blind eye to the potential crisis, and in fact enacted legislation to relax banking and mortgage lending regulations. It can well be argued that these relaxations in regulation contributed greatly to our country's current economic situation.

The beginning of the first Fox News video you posted points out that the Bush administration was warned as early as 2001, and their footage of Barney Frank is dated 2003. What they conveniently DON'T say is that this was back when the republicans had full control over the Senate, the House, and the presidency.

Then Federal Reserve Governor Edward Gramlich, appointed by President Bill Clinton by the way, repeatedly warned the Bush administration about the dangers of predatory lending in the sup-prime market during his tenure, which ended in 2005, although he was generally for sub-prime lending.

In the same video (the first), Alan Greenspan(R) is quoted as opposing the continued expansion of GSEs (Fanny and Freddie) in Feb of 2005. Here's what he said in Feb of 2004, exactly one year earlier, almost to the day, when he apparently felt that the housing sector was doing fine and praised homeowners for getting second mortgages to pay off other debt.



Still, at the end of the day, I blame the senior officers of the countries largest banks. They CHOSE to make sub-par loans on a massive scale out of sheer greed, knowing that as long as the government was backing the loans, they didn't have to give a damn if the customers ultimately defaulted.

You can blame the democrats for sticking their heads in the sand, or more likely for responding to pressure from lobbyists and big business PAC money, or you can blame the republicans for paying lip service to enacting tougher GSE (Government Sponsored Enterprises) policy while doing little about it and actually relaxing banking regulations, but corporate greed ultimately brought us to this economic crisis.

I wish I could disagree with your gloomy assessment, but I can't. The bigger picture, beyond the current real estate collapse, is that we have become a nation of consumers instead of producers. We outsource our labor, import most of our finished and complex goods, and continue to go further and further into debt at every scale one cares to examine (Federal, State, County, City, and private citizen.) This kind of debt cannot be sustained without serious consequences, and I believe (and hope that I'm wrong) that our current economic depression is only the beginning.

P.P.S.  I liked this thread better as a comedy, so I apologize for jumping into the serious end of the political pool, and now return you to your regularly scheduled humor. :200- :30-    :208- :208- :208- :208-


Stat :31-


"A Democrat and a Republican walk into a bar..." :198-  :127-    :171- :253- :253-     :97- :97- :97-

Not without a final response from me, you won't!  I didn't type all this just to dump it...  :187- :136- :187-  :97- :97-

The reason we are a nation of consumers rather than producers is because our economy is in the state it is. As other countries industrialize, their economies show the same bell curve as ours is. Being in the industry I am, I have seen this cycle move through many countries over the past decade: India, then the Pacific (Malaysia/Singapore), to eastern Europe, and now to Ireland and China. You can blame some of that on unions in certain industries, but for the most part it's a natural progression. As all countries equalize, we will become competitive again and the cycle will repeat.

By the way, your assessment on the private citizen debt situation is outdated a bit, personal debt is actually slightly down since 2008 according to the data I've seen. Our federal gov't spending is out of control, however, and one of the results of this is that less taxes that are collected from the state and local entities is being returned, causing those entities to struggle as well. It's a big factor where you and I live since we as a state contribute more than we receive to begin with.

The situation we are in won't get too much worse over the long term, because most  of the rest of the worlds' economies are in the same state as ours. If we were the only nation with these issues, I'd be moving in a hurry! I have relatives in Switzerland who enjoy it when I drop by...  :200-

The real estate market still isn't done correcting, though, and that is what is going to hurt us in the short term. The problem is the feds thought that bailout money would be used by the banks to offset losses on toxic mortgages while the banks moved those properties from foreclosure to sale, so their revenue from interest on good mortgages would come back on line.  But, the banks see the bailout money as operating revenue to allow them to camp on those foreclosed properties until the market is better and they can sell the foreclosed properties at less of a loss or perhaps a marginal profit.

If you think about that paradigm for a moment, you'll see there's only 2 possible outcomes to that strategy: Either the gov't goes bankrupt from continually disbursing bailout money to the lenders and the economy completely implodes, or the lenders run out of operating revenue and the real estate market crashes again when they release all the "shadow properties" to the market at once and home prices nosedive again. It will be worse this time, though, because there will be no bailout money coming to soften the correction. The proper procedure for the first set of bailouts (both Bush's and Obama's) should have been to mandate the toxic properties were put back on the market as part of receiving bailout funds, because the economy can't recover until those properties are converted from toxic to healthy status.

I'm seeing a LOT of this behavior in the area I live in. My brother in law's employer is still living in his $7M home right now (he hasn't paid a dime either to the mortgage or as rent), he was foreclosed on well over a year ago. The bank would rather he stayed than moved, because at least he's maintaining the property while he's living there. The bank knows in this market they can't get anywhere near the $7M out of it, so they're playing the waiting game. If it weren't for bailout money, they'd have to sell all the properties to get operating revenue, the market would correct, and we'd be back to business as usual, hopefully a little wiser for the experience.

T'would be a bang heard round the world.

Thanks,
Jason

And those guys drink the good stuff, not like this 18 year old single malt I'm sipping at the moment... :37- :37- :37-

I saw a 30 year old Macallan for a little over a grand last time I was at the local spirit place, made my mouth water just thinking about it!  :185- :185-

Regarding your serious post: You do realize that you're making my point about the (continued) greed of the banks?

Regarding the scotch (FAR more important, IMO): I'm lucky to not have been spoiled by the opportunity to taste any scotches in the mid-three or four figure range. :5- :96-

I'm well satisfied with some (but not all) of the $75-$125 bottles I've tried. I'm just finishing up a Cragganmore 1992 Distiller's edition that I enjoyed immensely, but which is already becoming more difficult to find. I realize that I might be called a heretic for liking a blended scotch, but I rather like Johnny Walker Gold. Costco has the Blue on sale for $150 right now, but I won't be buying it, although I would like to try it someday.

The bargain scotch that I like is the Glenfiddich 15yr Solera Reserve at only $30 a bottle. I don't care for the commonly seen Glenfiddich 12 year.

You can probably tell that I prefer the fruity and floral scotches. I've tried a few of the smokey varieties and don't care much for them, with or without water (which changes the taste).

Gordon Gecko

What, no scotch reviews?  :253- :252- :200- :72- :72-



Dump Teldar Paper before you finish your steak tartar and meet me at the bar after lunch. :30-   I'll be there with Darryl Hannah.  :91-

 :31-

I'm a lessertarian. I vote for the lesser of the evils running for office.

I'm in the middle but lean both way. We should be fiscally responsible as a country, but tax breaks for the wealthy aren't fiscally responsible. I believe that we should have universal healthcare and should raise taxes on tobacco products plus kill tobacco subsidies. We shouldn't give Altria any of our tax money as support for their trash products.

We shouldn't hide the cost of the war like our last president did. We shouldn't be in a war to protect an oil pipeline. We should mop up our own messes in foreign countries, quit fucking around with their puppet regimes, and let them all kill each other. Besides, if the terrorists got their grubby hands on Pakistani nukes then India and Israel would wipe that country off the map and we'd have a huge desert glass glacier.

We shouldn't have no-bid contracts. No warrantless wiretaps. No data mining of law abiding US citizens in the ways the East German Secret Police and the KGB did. Oh, but... the FBI has been doing that since J. Edgar Hoover so it shouldn't be a surprise to us. Watch what books you get from your local library folks.

I'm also pro-gun, pro-hunting, pro-conceal carry, and pro-womens' right to choose.

I can't stand Sarah Palin. Crazy skank. She said she's not a quitter but quit the Governor's job. She's for abstinence which is just another word to describe parents that are too scared, lazy, or afraid to teach their kids about sex, birth control, and STDs. Her kid got pregnant out of wedlock. Real classy folks. She parades her "special baby" like it was a diamond ring. The only things to come out of her mouth are sound bites that have no facts or data to back them up. I'm mad enough at the Demoncrap in Command that I'll most likely vote repugnatcan't for the first time ever as president... BUT, if it's Palin running for office I'll write in Woody Woodpecker before I vote for that brainless whore.

I own a couple of pistols, several rifles, a couple of shotguns, and just finished my AR-15 project this morning with the help of a gunsmith buddy. I tend to vote 60% Demoncrap, 30% Repugnantcan, and the last 10% between Libertarian and Green party candidates. Fuck the tea party whackos. Fuck them with a splintered dildo. Crazy fucks.

Oh, and fuck Faux News. Hate and ignorance spreading bastards.

As for the question at hand?

BANG. One less terrorist in the world. Free healthcare can pronounce him dead. Free K-12 education for his kids will help keep them from being ignorant fucks like their old man was. Community Colleges and/or state colleges can help the kids learn to think on their own without others telling them what to think.

We really do have it well off in this country. Gas prices suck but other folks are paying the equivalent to what we pay for a LITER of gas. Think about that the next time you bitch at the pump. Gas taxes are one of the few fair taxes we have. Use more, pay more. It goes to help keep our roads repaired. Well, that is if the state/fed legislature doesn't steal that money to pay for something else.

That's enough of a rant. Y'all will be scratching your heads on this one since I've never posted like this before. :)

yeah! quit yer bitchin'    :179- :72-








( just kidding ya)

Probably one of the most humanitarian posts ever!  :131-
A little edgy but stirringly precise!  :89-
                                                    -The Washington Post

  Huh   I wonder how Raymond really feels ???????????????????    :279- :279- :279- :279-

I still think that every time an election is over, those hos we elect in Washington (Dems AND Repubs) all sit around a big table, drink 30 year old Scotch and smoke Cuban cigars, all the while high fiving each other because the 2 parties are still in power and any hope of a 3rd party or independent candidate getting elected anywhere got crushed again.

The more I think about it, the more I feel we need to go back to the old-style election process, where the guy that got the most votes was the president, and the runner-up was the vice president. Nowadays, at least it would keep clowns like Biden and Palin the heck out of running for office. Seriously, those two are sound bite disasters waiting to happen every time they open their mouths. :208- :208-

What am I? I'm none of the above.

I think we should go for that style of election that the French held in 1789. Set up a nice sturdy guillotine on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and feed it with

(a) every sitting Congressman and Senator
(b) every former Congressman and Senator who left and got a cushy job in a private company that lobbied him
(c) the President and his entire staff, Treasury department first
(d) President 'W' and his entire staff, Cheney first
(e) everyone who works or has ever worked on K Street
(f) everyone who has ever received a bonus from Wall Street
(g) all the board of the Federal Reserve, plus Alan Greenspan
(h) everyone connected with a political think tank who holds dual nationality

That will do for a start. People lower down the list will probably either repent or flee before we get to them, but no doubt we'll get round to everyone who works inside the Beltway eventually. TSA workers will be needed, they've shown themselves to be perfectly suited to the job of rounding up the victims and driving the tumbrils (and they'll get their turn later when it quiets down). Sarah Palin I would spare, she can sit at the guillotine knitting socks out of hair. We'll need a figurehead after this, someone who can be relied on to hand over power voluntarily when a tough decision comes along, or in exchange for a couple of dresses and a nice pair of shoes.

 :72- :72- :72-

You forgot the time-honored tradition of drawing and quartering; always a grand day's entertainment for the kiddies and parents alike. We could have food vendors selling sausages, chopped liver, pork rinds, and other organ meats, and we'd sell separate tickets to the beheadings and the eviscerations for the live gate, in addition to a broadcast contract with one of the major sports networks. The funds raised could be used to pay off the national debt.

We could also auction off body parts: locks of hair, fingers, etc. -- or is that going too far?  :81- ... Nah! :30-  :101-

Drawing and quartering takes a long time - it's a half-day affair - and there are lots of people to get through. We would have to save that for special people like Phil Gramm and Oliver North. Now, there was a special punishment used in France for the most extreme crimes... It involved being suspended upside down, so the blood would run to your head and you wouldn't faint, and then your nuts were crushed slowly one by one in a vise. That was an all-day affair, a skilled operator could make it last 12 hours with the victim conscious throughout. I don't know if I can think of anyone special enough for that treatment, but no doubt better informed people than me can name those in the administration who think torture is acceptable due process.

I'm sure you're right, that millions of people would pay to watch. But I wouldn't let any body parts get away, otherwise they'd end up in Reliquaries all over the Bible Belt.

 :208- :208- :208-

That's okay. They could take them out once a year and parade them down the street. Just imagine: The feast of ex governor 'W' -- as long as they pay the fair market price at the auction. "Remember folks, it's going to pay off the debt, so bid early, bid often!"

We'd have limited editions: Fingers would be numbered x of 10, and each finger would be sealed in a special presentation case (perhaps encased in Lucite or pickled) and would come with a gold-sealed certificate of authenticity. (or perhaps editions of 8 with elite editions of 2 thumbs. :96-) The lesser political figures could be auctioned off on eBay, while the most desirable would be auctioned through Christie's or Sotheby's.

Less the F words, and oh yeah, the splintered dildo, GREAT POST!

The splintered dildo was funny though!