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Well this is about all I know about Golf..  :211-  unless you want to talk about that dam windmill on the 6 hole i can get through.  :71- :71- :71-


Yes You Might be a Redneck  :137-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MApJnyk1PV8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MApJnyk1PV8)

 :208- :251- :107- that's crazy! lol

Yeah, miniature golf is more my speed as well. I've always wanted to learn to golf, and have hit a few balls (GOLF balls, you perverts! :81- :30-), but I'm too out of shape to really play the game.  :251-


LMAO   :208- :208- :208- :208- :208- :208-

K+ Joey :3-

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It gives new meaning to the phrase, "I hit a birdie on the 4^th, and shot 40 on the front nine."

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dLmILZFATw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dLmILZFATw)

To this day - I have no clue why golf is 18 holes...why?   :129-
10 would have been enough...:96-

I thought Eight was Enough! ? :128-  :200-

One legend claims that the number 18 originated as a suggestion
from one of the St. Andrews old-timers, who noted that it took
exactly 18 shots to finish a fifth of scotch -- a shot per hole.
However, this is just a rumor, so you can leave your hip flasks at home. :72-

Or take a fifth with you on your next round to test the theory. :252-  You may have to try this several times to be sure.  :253-  :72- :72- :72-

Tip: 1.4oz per shot will succeed, :214-  but you might want to fail once or twice...  :208- :208-


Yes, these are new emoticons.

SF :31-

Succeed at what? Certainly not finishing the course at a shot a hole! :208-

There ought to be a special prize for being able to finish at all ! but yes, I meant ending up having consumed exactly one fifth of scotch after playing 18 holes and having consumed a fixed sized shot at each hole. If there is any scotch left over, or you run out prematurely, then you've failed and have to try again the next day... and the next... and th... .:127- :30- :198-

If you can finish the round under 100, you win an extra case of scotch, but you must give up one bottle for every ball you lose. :200- :30-


<ADD> 1.4oz isn't precisely correct. It's closer to 1.4089oz.  :47-

<ADD> 1.4oz isn't precisely correct. It's closer to 1.4089oz.  :47-

Stat! It was just a rumor!! :30-  :96-

It was a scorching hot summer's day as I approached the 18th Tee.
I had run out of refreshments earlier but, as luck would have it -
my fellow competitor offered me a drink.
The score between us was extremely close and I wanted to refuse at first -
but my constant drooling resorted me otherwise.
I teed off and everything seemed to be going good.
As we walked down the fairway, I opened my drink and began to consume it.
I didn't want to carry it along as I was pulling a pull-cart with my other hand -
so I chugged it down with a few mighty gulps.
As I was addressing and positioning my body over my next shot, I felt something astir in my stomach.
I expelled a nice clean burp of alcoholic air and proceeded to hit my stroke.
The ball never really touched my club face but somehow I managed to hit the very top of the ball -
uh,...with the very bottom on my club.
The dastardly wicked hard white object came straight up and smacked me with
such an astounding force to my forehead!
I flew over backwards with such speed that my feet were actually above the level of my head.
Even Under the inducement of my beverage - I found that somehow I was more in pain on my backsides.
I rolled over with the stark realization that I had placed the beverage behind me on the ground where I landed.
Now, I had the distinct imprint of an aluminum can top deeply embedded into my skin on my lower back.
I stood up and lifted my shirt as my fellow competitor remarked that I appeared in pain.
The funny thing is - I started to giggle instead...then I couldn't stop all the way until we finished the hole.
Needless to say, I shot a horrible score for the hole and lost the round of competition - ah, I didn't care!
We proceeded to the clubhouse to order some more rounds of refreshments - and an icepack!

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Not if you go out there and try it a few times!  :200- :88- :5- :30- :127-  :253- :198- :126-  :97- :97- :97-