tech support

[kenokarz]

note from my wife

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
·         Romance 9.5 and
·         Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
·         NBA 5.0,
·         NFL 3.0  and
·         Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

·         Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.



DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
·         Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
·         Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
·         If that application works as designed, Husband1.0   should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
·         Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
·         Cooking 3.0 and
·         Hot Lingerie 7.7.   
Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support     

[fiddlefarter]

Very cool I love it  K+

[kenokarz]

i guess it says it all

[stayouttadabunker]

That's funny! 

[Joeylc]

Here is the male version... 


A friend of mine is having trouble with his new operating system.

Last year he upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which he'd used for years without trouble.

However, apparently there were conflicts between these two systems and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 was incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Golf 2.4 and Playboy 6.0.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better, Girlfriend 3.0 had many Bugs and left a virus in his system, forcing him to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually he tried re-installing Girlfriend 2.1 as well as Girlfriend 1.0 only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to all his hardware.

Sensing a way out, he upgraded to Fianc e 1.0 only to discover to his dismay that this system requires rapid upgrading to Wife 1.0. However, whilst Wife 1.0 uses up all available resources it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse 2000.

But imagine my friend's disappointment on discovering Wife 1.0 can be unstable and costly to maintain, any mistakes he makes are automatically stored in Wife 1.0 Hardrive and can not be deleted, they then re-surface months later. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic InterDiary Explorer and E-mail Porn Filter.

Another problem is that Wife 1.0 automatically runs PhotoSTROP and WHINGEzip for no reason and no option on the Help menu seems to work, leaving him to try and GUESS the fault himself. The system footprint needs updating regularly, requiring Shoeshop Browser Pro for new attachments, and Hairstyle Express needs to be re-installed every week. It also refused some of the new games and attachments he wanted to try, stating they are an illegal operation.

When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to Lotus Car 1.0 it often crashes or runs the system dry. Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-law, which can't be turned off.

Recently he's been tempted to try Mistress Millennium add-on, but there could be problems. If Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2000, it will delete all MS Money files before un-installing itself.

[kenokarz]

 

[stayouttadabunker]

 
man oh man,
He should of installed Prenuptial Agreement 7.0 with Wife 1.0 before signing on...

[rickhunter]

It would also depend if RTM Baby 1.0 was installed before he had a chance to buy Prenup 7.0.  It should be stated that once Girlfriend x.0 is upgraded to wife 1.0 all demo features are immediately un-installed such as:

1.  SexAnywhere 1.0
2.  Guysnightout 7.0
3.  TheGlow3.0

Among other things, some backdoor trojans are triggered such as

1.  Backdoor.Nag 1.0
2.  Backdoor.IhaveAHeadache 1.0
3.  Backdoor.Mother-in-Law 1.0
4.  Backdoor.DebtCollectorCalls 1.0
5.  Backdoor.BeautyExpenses 1.0


There are others, and depending on how good your software countermeasures are, you may also get stuck with:

1.  In-LawsMoveIn 1.0
2.  IHaveAChildFromPreviousRelationship 1.0
3.  ImPregnant 1.0
4.  Babysittingrelativeschildren 1.0

So before you upgrade, make sure  you install backgroundcheck 1.0 and lawyer 1.0  so as to temporarely delay the malware.

[kenokarz]

man i wish some would have told me this stuff all before, i would have deleted wife 1.0 and replaced with girlfreind 2.6
and buddys all the time 24.7 

[StatFreak]

 

I simply installed eternalBachelor 9.3 before installing any of the others and it's kept my system running smoothly. The main downside is that the software installs the LonelyGuy 7.0 patch after 10 years and it can't be removed without installing a version of Girlfriend. Once installed, eternalBachelor's performance degrades as Girlfriend x.0 takes over the system, resulting in all of the above documented hardware and software problems.

I've hear that there is a program called PeterPan Omega tha prevent all of this if installed before Child 2.0 expires by hooking into Child and extending its run indefinitely, but it's only an urband legend.

[stayouttadabunker]

I let Girlfriend 2.6 read this....she's still laughing...
At least I'm not downgraded or backwards-compatiable to Doghouse 8.1 just yet...

[StatFreak]

I let Girlfriend 2.6 read this....she's still laughing...
At least I'm not downgraded or backwards-compatiable to Doghouse 8.1 just yet...

Be careful. Girlfriend 2.6 can invoke Doghouse 8.1 in the background (without any user input) and impound your system for days on end. If it is run concurrently with Girlfriend.PMS 6.66   , then flowers 3.5 and jewelry 2.0 will be completely ineffective   . In fact, at that point, there will be no way to restore system stability for at least a week or two.