Slow Day on the Forum

[Buzz]

It's been kind of slow so thought I'd tell all you how my week went last week. I had been to see this Urologist about a cyst in my bladder, he told me I needed a Ultrasound of the bladder and I told him my family Doctor had already had one done.  The Urologist inform me that he would take a different kind, he would take his internally going through the rectum.( This is something I really wanted to hear )  OK  I show up for this test last Wed. as I'm waiting in the waiting room I can see the Doctor and it looks like hes holding a telephone hand set, upside down to his ear, I mean the wire was sicking up not down. I'm thinking WTF, this clown doesn't know up from down and I better find a different Doctor. About then they call my name so back to the examining room I go. ( not a good sign when you see a tube of lube on the counter ) Nurse tells me to strip from the waist down and she will be back. When she gets back right away shes got a syringe in one hand and my pecker in the other hand and I'm hollering " what the hell are you doing " she shows me there is no needle on this syringe and she going to reverse flow this pain killer back to the bladder. Little later the Doctor comes in, this is when I figure out at one time this guy must have been a Capt. of a Submarine in the Indian Navy, he shoves a parascope up where the pain killer flowed earlier. ( I'm trying my damnest to clean this story up as much as I can )  Results were no cyst, no cancer and " you need a ultrasound, come back in tomorrow at 10:30"

So went in the next day Thursday and I figured they had found a short cut to my bladder they would do it again.  WRONG I won't tell that whole story other than I told that dude if he started getting pictures of my Adam's apple on his radar screen he went in to damn far, and if you offer me a piece of candy when you finish I'm gonna punch you right in the nose.

Friday had a appointment with my Optamologist and got my monthly shot in the eyeball. I did ask the Doctor how far he stuck the needle in my eye and he said only about a 1/8 inch.

[ROCKET]

 
LOL BUZZ -WE HAVE THE SAME DOCTORS OVER HERE ON EAST COAST .

IN NOV. . of 2012 I HAD SIMILAR TEST ..  thought i had a blockage in bladder or Kidney stones or something stuck in  my "man hose" aka penis  ... i was having extreme problems getting a drop out ..
Partly was caused by a  nerve in my back caused it to have "NO FEELING" to pee out even with full bladder . ..

what bothered me in the past 14 years i have had a camera put in every part of my body at one time or another to look for ?? .. ASK THE DOCTORS ..I CANT PRONOUNCE LET ALONE SPELL HALF  THE WORDS THEY  WERE LOOKING FOR .. .

Back to the story .. i got a sedative placed directly inside my ummm "blow hole " of penis .. this is what BOTHERED ME ..

I AM THE GUY WHO IS NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING !!!!
I have had broken bones -- fell out of trees -- almost froze to death once in a blizzard falling through thin ice up to my neck .. taken a bullet in the back .. been stabbed several times ..had been in 3---4 incredible car crashes while i was racing cars .. two car crashes as passenger on reg road .. 
hit over the head with a hockey stick -no helmet .. 33 stiches later .. broke fingers - been cut with razors down to the bone .. been bitten by k-9 dogs my own lol ...had ultrasound of the family jewels from a super hot nurse + yes got a rise .. very embarresed .. so i covered all except this camera the doctor stuck down my penis ..looking for a stone or blockage in my bladder .
when he started there was him and one nurse in exam room . within 2 minutes there were 5 nurses in the exam room ??? while im leaning back with that god awefull batadyne stuff painted all over my privates ..the DR. LOOKS FOR 3-5 MINUTES with camera .. finds nothing --he fills up my bladder with just regular solution .

then says can you please try to pee it out it will come out the tube no worry of it getting on you .. ..
i said DOC im one of these guys who does not like a audience when i go .. my wife or kids or a few buddies is fine .. but you brought in 5 nurses   ????

he said no problem i understand THIS IS WHERE IT GETS GOOD THE TUBE ABOUT 15 FEET LONG WENT TO A 5 GALLONG STAINLESS STEEL BUCKET .
HE SAID HANG ON I AM GOING TO EVACUATE YOUR BLADDER ..  I SAID GREAT IM GOING TO BURST ..

WELL WHAT WERE THE 5 NURSES DOING BESIDES STARING AT MY EQUIPMENT ???   ANSWER !!  NOTHING !! IT STARTED TO COME OUT OF THE OTHER END OF HOSE AT SUCH FORCE IT BLEW THE HOSE OUT OF THE BUCKET .. ONE NURSE GRABBED THE HOSE LIKE A BROKEN AIR LINE WHIPPING BACK AND FOURTH .. SHE SPRAYED EVERY NURSE IN THAT ROOM EXCEPT THE DR. AND MYSELF .. THEY WERE COVERED IN A MIXTURE OF URINE & SALENE SOLUTION .
I LAUGHED SO HARD IT WAS LIKE A 3-STOOGES EPSODE . THEY WERE ALL SOAKED .. THE DR. SAID I WAS FINE NO BLOCKAGE NO STONES ETC ..GET DRESSED GO HOME ..
 
SO I FIGURE THOSE NURSES WONT BE SO CURIOUS OF WHAT GOES ON NEXT TIME .. THEY GOT WHAT THEY DESERVED .. 

hospital stories i love them .. every one is "unique " in its own way ..

[FORDSBS]

I may as well tell you my story in short version. 7 years ago went in for biopsy of prostrate & Collin isotropy same day. He asked if ever had blather checked & I said no. So he went in & checked that & there was a pallop. rolled me over & did postrate thing. Rolled back over & went in again & removed pallop. From there went & got Collin isotropy done. Pallop was cancer but got in time. After that had to go in for him to check blather every 6 month. After 5 years only once a year. Good thing is all is in good shape now.
EXCUSE MY SPELLING ON SOME OF THIS S**T.

[ROCKET]

I may as well tell you my story in short version. 7 years ago went in for biopsy of prostrate & Collin isotropy same day. He asked if ever had blather checked & I said no. So he went in & checked that & there was a pallop. rolled me over & did postrate thing. Rolled back over & went in again & removed pallop. From there went & got Collin isotropy done. Pallop was cancer but got in time. After that had to go in for him to check blather every 6 month. After 5 years only once a year. Good thing is all is in good shape now.
EXCUSE MY SPELLING ON SOME OF THIS S**T.

SAME HERE SPELLING ON THE MEDICAL TERMS FORGET IT .. its amazing what they can do today ..modern medicine is fantastic .. its the AUDIENCE STUFF I DONT THINK WAS NESSESARY . GLAD IT ALL TURNED OUT OK FOR YOU ..

[stayouttadabunker]

Oh! The things I'm looking soooo forward to doing when I get older...

[ROCKET]

Oh! The things I'm looking soooo forward to doing when I get older...

Bunker you dont have to be old to have these test ..you should have these test at 40 years old on up  .. it may just save your life ..
im only in my 50's im not old as dirt like BUZZ kidding Buzz of course ....

[stayouttadabunker]

oh! okay! Thanks for the heads up D!
Guess I better schedule a check-up! 

[PLUNGER BOY]

oh! okay! Thanks for the heads up D!
Guess I better schedule a check-up! 

OH Mr Bunker it's time for your check up . Don't be scared I'm here to comfort you

[Buzz]

Now Kevin who are you trying to Bull S**t you just trying to build Bubker up for a BIG down fall.   Mark don't believe all this.  Nurses don't wear those white hats anymore !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[PLUNGER BOY]

Now Kevin who are you trying to Bull S**t you just trying to build Bubker up for a BIG down fall.   Mark don't believe all this.  Nurses don't wear those white hats anymore !!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUZZ . I thought the gloves would reassure Bunker that all safety assssspects have been met . P.B. 

[Buzz]

Kevin  I bet you she's got more plastic than a Barbie doll !!

Now you done it, Bunker is gonna have to file bankruptcy  cause he's going to schedule physicals in every clinic in 3 counties. When he's done if he has as many needles sticking out of him as he has had stuck in him, he's going to look like a Porcupine.

Bunker  This plumber is sh**ing you, those gloves aren't made out of rubber.

[stayouttadabunker]

Hey? Dem red plusses? Are those the reset buttons?   

[PLUNGER BOY]

Hey? Dem red plusses? Are those the reset buttons?   

I think they are push or pull style .  P.B.

[Ron (r273)]

Hey? Dem red plusses? Are those the reset buttons?   

Hey Bunker, ask your gal friend, she will set you straight

Ron (r273).

[stayouttadabunker]

Hey Bunker, ask your gal friend, she will set you straight

Ron (r273).

Yeah...she'll smack me on the head that's what I'll get!!