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Author Topic: Company Christmas Party Humor  (Read 6340 times)
delma
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« on: December 16, 2009, 10:40:16 AM »
OFFICE PARTY MEMO # 1

Subject: The Office Party
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't Be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

OFFICE PARTY MEMO # 2

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time.    Happy now?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

OFFICE PARTY MEMO # 3

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 2 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating, drinking and sex during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - the days are so short this time of year - or else package everything for take-home in little foil swans. Will that work?  Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Did I miss anything?

 rotflmao bust gut laughing Cry Laughing rotflmao

Enjoy!
Delma in Dallas
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stayouttadabunker
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« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2009, 01:27:13 PM »
There was another joke I think it was a couple of years ago
where Pat Lewis resorted to drinking and recovery! LOL
I wish I could remember but I think I'm coming down with infamous NLG CRS syndrome... Tongue Out
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Buzz
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« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2009, 04:19:21 PM »
Bunker  NLG has nothing to do with CRS.  Ugh I forgot, whats NLG stand for?   Scratch Head Scratch Head Duh! Duh!
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NLGs Motto  " IF IT AIN'T BROKE GIVE ME TIME IT WILL BE "
CaptainHappy
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I haven't met a Jackpot that I didn't like!!!
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2009, 06:00:24 PM »
Quote from: Buzz on December 16, 2009, 04:19:21 PM
Bunker  NLG has nothing to do with CRS.  Ugh I forgot, whats NLG stand for?   Scratch Head Scratch Head Duh! Duh!

Buzz.

We better hope that Bunker know, cause I CRS!!!! arrow Crazy bust gut laughing

XX CaptainHappy (CRS... what do I put here???)
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  Come sail away, Come sail away Come sail away with me..
delma
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« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2009, 06:08:44 PM »
Okay guys....curious now......what is "CRS"??
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CaptainHappy
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« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2009, 06:53:33 PM »
Quote from: delma on December 16, 2009, 06:08:44 PM
Okay guys....curious now......what is "CRS"??

Don't feel bad it took me alot of thought to figure it out originally, and I only assume I figured it out properly...
Can't Remember S muted muted muted!  Scratch Head

You are lucky that I remembered!

Speaking of remembering, have your "Kids" moved to their new basement home yet? How's the new "kid?"

CH CaptainHappy
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  Come sail away, Come sail away Come sail away with me..
stayouttadabunker
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« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2009, 07:31:40 PM »
Definition of "NLG".

According to Jay's teenage daughter...her father is always logging onto "NoLifeGames"... Tongue Out

Hey! My memory's coming back!


I'll tell you guys a short story how bad I have it for NLG...

I was sitting in a airport terminal in (I don't recall...LOL) ... bust gut laughing bust gut laughing end of story I guess!!!!!!!! 
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delma
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« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2009, 07:43:43 PM »
Hum CRS:

Cranial-Rectal Syndrome
Can't Repair Stuff
Cant Remember Sh!t

......ooohhhhhhhh I get it.  bust gut laughing rotflmao Cry Laughing
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Ron (r273)
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« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2009, 08:26:14 PM »
Quote from: delma on December 16, 2009, 07:43:43 PM
Hum CRS:

Cranial-Rectal Syndrome
Can't Repair Stuff
Cant Remember Sh!t

......ooohhhhhhhh I get it.  bust gut laughing rotflmao Cry Laughing




I have all three!

Ron (r273)
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delma
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« Reply #9 on: January 04, 2010, 03:00:47 AM »
Quote from: CaptainHappy on December 16, 2009, 06:53:33 PM
Quote from: delma on December 16, 2009, 06:08:44 PM
Okay guys....curious now......what is "CRS"??

Don't feel bad it took me alot of thought to figure it out originally, and I only assume I figured it out properly...
Can't Remember S muted muted muted!  Scratch Head

You are lucky that I remembered!

Speaking of remembering, have your "Kids" moved to their new basement home yet? How's the new "kid?"

CH CaptainHappy

Funny you should ask.  My kids are still at a sleep over.  I had my basement renovated which consisted of new dry walls painted in white, sealed concrete flooring and ac/heating vent…..that’s it!  I don't know what do!  It looks boring.  My field of expertise is soap and cosmetics and my weakness is design.  I'm not sure if I should put down carpeting or tile or what?  Further, I don't know what type of lighting would be best.  In fact, I don't know what my options are to be frank.  My area is 2,500 sf of big empty room of white walls and concrete floor with no windows.  I've been watching design TV and I saw where they did a game room with a different color paint on each wall......I was thinking I might do that.  Any advise or pics you can send me for inspiration.......especially with regards to the lighting. 
« Last Edit: January 04, 2010, 03:14:41 AM by delma » Logged
stayouttadabunker
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« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2010, 03:20:10 AM »
Delma,
Get in touch with BettorSlots.
You can search for his username...
He's a design architect!
I've seen his game room personally and thought it was fantastic!
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