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Author Topic: Off the wall silly stuff.  (Read 195483 times)
Ozzy
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« Reply #50 on: October 29, 2008, 05:37:54 PM »

Q. What is the capital of Iceland?
A. About $3.50

Q. What's the difference between and an investment banker and a large Pizza?
A. A large Pizza can still feed a family of four.

Q. How do you define optimism?
A. A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.

Q. Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
A. Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

Q. What do you call a hedge fund manager at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.

Q. What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't sell anything?
A. A Quarter-pounder with fries, please.

Q. What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
A. A pigeon is still capable of leaving a deposit on a new Ferrari.
-----------------------------------------------
YOU know its a credit crunch when:

The cash point asks if you can spare any change.

There's a buy-one-get-one-free offer - on banks!

The income tax authorities are offering a 10% discount for cash.

Your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars instead of US dollars.

Victoria Beckham is pictured shopping in Primark.
-----------------------------------------------
The Bank returned a cheque to me this morning marked 'insufficient funds'.
Is it them or me?
------------------------------------------------
A lobbyist on his way home from the Senate is stuck in traffic. He asks a
Policeman: "What's the hold-up?" The policeman replies: "George W. is so depressed he's stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set fire to himself. He says no-one believes he can get us through the credit crunch. So we've taken up a collection for him."
The lobbyist asks: "How much have you got so far?"
The officer replies: 'About 40 gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning."
--------------------------------------------
The Credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. My car's been repossessed!
-----------------------------------
As a surprise, a CEO's wife pops by his office . She catches him in an unorthodox position with his secretary sitting on his lap. Without hesitation he starts dictating: ".....and in conclusion, Gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
--------------------------------------
Overheard in a City bar: "This credit crunch is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my fortune and I've still got a wife."
--------------------------------------
An architect, a surgeon and an accountant were discussing the Creation. The surgeon says: "Look, we surgeons are most important. God's a surgeon because the first thing he did was to extract Eve from Adam's rib." The architect
says: "No, wait a minute, God is an architect. He made the world in seven days out of chaos." The economist smiles and says: " And who created the chaos?"
--------------------------------------
A man went to his bank and said: "I'd like to start a small business. How do I go about it?"
"Simple," said the bank manager. "Buy a big business and wait!"
-----------------------------------------
And finally:-

A Director decided to award an incentive prize of $50 to the employee who came up with the best idea to save the company money during the credit crunch. The winner was a young executive who suggested reducing the prize money to $10.
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« Reply #51 on: October 30, 2008, 03:30:23 AM »

OK, so HERE'S a Picture,
YOU COME UP WITH A CAPTION!    Hail   bust gut laughing



BUSH STILL SEARCHING FOR WMDs
SAYS HE WAS TOLD TO LOOK IN COLĂ“N

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« Reply #52 on: October 31, 2008, 12:04:27 AM »

A comment from a cat...


* pussycat.jpg (37.54 KB, 489x357 - viewed 383 times.)
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« Reply #53 on: October 31, 2008, 01:36:13 AM »

A couple comments here...

Jeff Dunham...  He's the funniest man on the planet, hands down...
I wanted to rent that "Jeff Dunham - Spark of Insanity" DVD from my local blockbuster video...  They didn't have it   hissy fit

Then - I was looking thru the listings in one of those red movie rental kiosks and - THERE IT WAS ! ! !  Can you guess which DVD was the first one I rented?
It was a deal too!  99 cents + tax for 24 hours.  $1.07 total for total hilarity - by the time the DVD was done I had to crawl to the bedroom to go to bed because I was too tired from laughing to walk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That video with the high tension wires.  What the hell was up with that???  That shyte was scary...
(and why didn't the firemen turn off the mains in those houses when they saw the houses starting to SMOKE???)

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« Reply #54 on: October 31, 2008, 01:51:21 AM »

Las Vegas Take Down -

"What happens in Vegas - stays in Vegas"?

I betcha he wishes this never happened ...

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/TXXzvpnkvm0&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/TXXzvpnkvm0&rel=0</a>
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« Reply #55 on: October 31, 2008, 05:56:10 AM »

OUCH!!!!

Should have listened!

At least he did not scream "Don't strangle me Bro!" (From the famous "Don't Taze me Bro!")

See the good part at around 2 minutes!

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/6bVa6jn4rpE&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/6bVa6jn4rpE&rel=0</a>

CH  CaptainHappy
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« Reply #56 on: November 01, 2008, 12:23:28 AM »

A comment from a cat...

 bust gut laughing bust gut laughing bust gut laughing bust gut laughing bust gut laughing

Could you send a couple of good-looking examples over to my house for my cats to check out?  arrow Tongue Out
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« Reply #57 on: November 01, 2008, 05:39:54 PM »

Redneck Rocket Launcher  arrow arrow
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/x-R7_Tt1wtc&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/x-R7_Tt1wtc&rel=0</a>
« Last Edit: November 01, 2008, 07:16:19 PM by Joeylc » Logged

"The Seeds of our Ultimate Destruction are Slowly and Quietly being Planted in the Fertile soil of Political Correctness”
                                                                   Joey Carruthers 2011


Hottest day in the United States recorded August 11, 1983 at 2:21 p.m. was 132 F. - recorded in the shade at the Bullhead City Fire Department. 
BUT IT WAS A DRY HEAT


I Have gone to find myself, and if I get back before I return, keep me here!
  ???





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« Reply #58 on: November 01, 2008, 07:15:13 PM »

Stupid drivers
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/X8be3i-nJZ4&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/X8be3i-nJZ4&rel=0</a>
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                                                                   Joey Carruthers 2011


Hottest day in the United States recorded August 11, 1983 at 2:21 p.m. was 132 F. - recorded in the shade at the Bullhead City Fire Department. 
BUT IT WAS A DRY HEAT


I Have gone to find myself, and if I get back before I return, keep me here!
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« Reply #59 on: November 01, 2008, 08:20:20 PM »

Braniac Alkaline Metals
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/3KnOrRZG4nU&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/3KnOrRZG4nU&rel=0</a>
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Hottest day in the United States recorded August 11, 1983 at 2:21 p.m. was 132 F. - recorded in the shade at the Bullhead City Fire Department. 
BUT IT WAS A DRY HEAT


I Have gone to find myself, and if I get back before I return, keep me here!
  ???





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« Reply #60 on: November 01, 2008, 08:31:41 PM »

Brainiac - Electric Fence
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/tP-RgEJpN1M&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/tP-RgEJpN1M&rel=0</a>
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Hottest day in the United States recorded August 11, 1983 at 2:21 p.m. was 132 F. - recorded in the shade at the Bullhead City Fire Department. 
BUT IT WAS A DRY HEAT


I Have gone to find myself, and if I get back before I return, keep me here!
  ???





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« Reply #61 on: November 01, 2008, 08:41:41 PM »



This woman just never stops trying.   rotflmao rotflmao
« Last Edit: November 01, 2008, 08:56:50 PM by brichter » Logged

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Bill
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« Reply #62 on: November 01, 2008, 08:48:58 PM »

Brainiac - PCB In Microwave ( Printed Circuit Board )
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/L_JRD_zsqVU&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/L_JRD_zsqVU&rel=0</a>

Brainiac - Microwave - Alcohol
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/R7yhwA53rFk&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/R7yhwA53rFk&rel=0</a>

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                                                                   Joey Carruthers 2011


Hottest day in the United States recorded August 11, 1983 at 2:21 p.m. was 132 F. - recorded in the shade at the Bullhead City Fire Department. 
BUT IT WAS A DRY HEAT


I Have gone to find myself, and if I get back before I return, keep me here!
  ???





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« Reply #63 on: November 01, 2008, 08:49:31 PM »

Braniac Thermite  arrow arrow arrow arrow arrow
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/GyVD8V0016w&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/GyVD8V0016w&rel=0</a>
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"The Seeds of our Ultimate Destruction are Slowly and Quietly being Planted in the Fertile soil of Political Correctness”
                                                                   Joey Carruthers 2011


Hottest day in the United States recorded August 11, 1983 at 2:21 p.m. was 132 F. - recorded in the shade at the Bullhead City Fire Department. 
BUT IT WAS A DRY HEAT


I Have gone to find myself, and if I get back before I return, keep me here!
  ???





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« Reply #64 on: November 01, 2008, 09:06:59 PM »




Brainiac - Microwave - Alcohol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yhwA53rFk




What a waste of alcohol.  I wonder how many people do try this at home.
Maybe I'm a "redneck" because I feel like trying it.  Perhaps a bottle of fuel additive instead. Homer Insane


Thanks again,
Wayne
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« Reply #65 on: November 01, 2008, 11:26:19 PM »

Speaking of alcohol,

THE ULTIMATE DRUNK PEOPLE COMPILATION VIDEO EVER
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/tZmDWltBziM&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/tZmDWltBziM&rel=0</a>
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« Reply #66 on: November 01, 2008, 11:39:50 PM »

Snowmobiling is big up here in Canada, pretty soon I'll be out..  W


Back Flips
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/HdcLRu9MMyo&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/HdcLRu9MMyo&rel=0</a>
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« Reply #67 on: November 01, 2008, 11:41:58 PM »



 bust gut laughing bust gut laughing bust gut laughing  You don't even need to understand the language to know what they are saying to her. The best part is at 40 seconds. She proves that if being stupid once is funny, then being stupid twice is Hilarious.




We used meek ol' sodium back in our day. Cover in a thin layer of vaseline and flush. Then wait for the  censored.

Let's review, class:

Lithium      Li                yawn
Sodium     Na               hmmm    Wasn't Me
Potassium  K                stand back
Rubidium   Rb               OMG
Caesium    Cs               RUN FOR IT
Francium   Fr                NUKE   No, really. It's Radioactive (apparently frankiem and franseim are both correct)


Okay, technically, Rubidium is radioactive, too.
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« Reply #68 on: November 01, 2008, 11:46:37 PM »

Summertime activities

Anyone could make their own waterslide
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/uvN0PAdnwQU&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/uvN0PAdnwQU&rel=0</a>
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« Reply #69 on: November 02, 2008, 12:00:01 AM »

Another Lego slot, wow.  Maybe someone could make a Wheel of Fortune out of Lego?

Lego RCX Minifig Slot Machine
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/ExcWmUBHYy4&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/ExcWmUBHYy4&rel=0</a>
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« Reply #70 on: November 02, 2008, 12:03:02 AM »

Huge slot machine
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/4EI0kTJtN9E&rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/4EI0kTJtN9E&rel=0</a>
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« Reply #71 on: November 02, 2008, 12:26:13 AM »

Snowmobiling is big up here in Canada, pretty soon I'll be out..  W


Back Flips
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdcLRu9MMyo


Aren't snowmobiles Totally like,  -- exPENsive?  Tongue Out arrow frying pan bust gut laughing bust gut laughing
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« Reply #72 on: November 02, 2008, 01:14:56 AM »

The last one I bought is a Polaris 800 touring (two seater). the list price was something like $12,995.00, but since it was leftover from the previous season, I got it for $10,500.00 with a cover and some mitts.  I have three currently, but only licence two since not as many family members ride anymore.  The trail permits are $230 each for the entire season, with that I can ride on any trail in Ontario.  Some trails are quite a workout, but I love it.  Maybe I'll post some pics later (in the other hobbies section).

Thanks,
Wayne
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« Reply #73 on: November 02, 2008, 01:30:37 AM »

The last one I bought is a Polaris 800 touring (two seater). the list price was something like $12,995.00, but since it was leftover from the previous season, I got it for $10,500.00 with a cover and some mitts.  I have three currently, but only licence two since not as many family members ride anymore.  The trail permits are $230 each for the entire season, with that I can ride on any trail in Ontario.  Some trails are quite a workout, but I love it.  Maybe I'll post some pics later (in the other hobbies section).

Thanks,
Wayne

Well, I was actually referring to the practice of doing back flips with them.  frying pan
Isn't that a bit like deliberately bashing telephone poles with your car's open door again and again while driving down the road?  (Don't laugh -- I actually knew someone who did this once while drunk!)

-------------

On the serious side, I haven't ridden a snowmobile in years, but I remember having a lot of fun riding them. Of course, I was young so someone else way paying for everything. rotflmao
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« Reply #74 on: November 02, 2008, 01:41:02 AM »

They're built pretty tough, I clipped a tree one time (and lived to tell about it) and the parts to repair it cost me less than $300 (used).

Thanks,
Wayne
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